Skip to main content
The third blogoversary is in a few days now, and i honestly don't have much prepared to post because i'm just rotting at home. But since this is merely a life blog, i'm just gonna say some things to my future self.
1. Stop over reacting
2. Stop being so paranoid
3. You know that saying all this won't help with your paranoia, but just calm down.
4. Everything is gonna be fineeee

Anyway, i don't have much left. To be honest, i'm not sure if i've just forgotten that this MY blog and i can post anything i want, but i think i've gotten a little afraid of revealing my feelings. I have all these secrets and everything that are so hard to just express and even tiny things can be hidden through simple questions and i can't even tell people the reasons why i don't want to do this or i don't want to do that. I don't have anything to hide, honestly, but i'm just afraid that whatever i say will be used against me. This also made me feel really guilty and just awful, especially when people ask me "why" questions and i just find it so hard to answer because i'm so afraid. And there's also that tiny hesitation part and i feel like an asshole because i look like i don't trust anyone. Like, why don't i want to work with friends? I like to go solo, I'm afraid my friendship will be ruined, and i'm not ready to sacrifice it. I don't want to be exploited. Many reasons. But it just makes me seem selfish. I can't seem to answer so many questions because of so many reasons and it's bothering me as well, because i sound like SUCH AN ASSHOLE.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Healing

I've realised something- I haven't been too honest with myself. I'm talking about feelings, thoughts, anything that comes to mind. And I haven't been honest with you, too, those on my blog right now. For those that have been reading my blog for the past almost three years, the first year was fun. Pure, innocent, a 13 year old discovering herself, basically. Second year, a tad bit more emotional and personal. A bit of a break from blogging though, and definitely improvements in my writing. Made some friends online, it was fun.
Remember that affiliates linking thing I had? And that little chat box? Unfortunately, because of my content that has evolved through the years, I removed anything that could link people to my blog. Third year, come on. I pretty much stopped blogging for half a year I think, and mainly because I've gotten busy and I stopped trusting my blog. I've been afraid, you know? So afraid of people finding out how I feel and how I think. I don'…

I'm back, for good.

It's been quite a while since i've made a proper blogpost. Not the "update" kinds or the short embarrassing stories. The real, personal ones. And, honestly, its been about three months without me actually writing and expressing myself. I am exploding. Well, don't take it literally or make it sound dirty-like, because i did. I am exploding with thoughts and emotions and everything else that makes me whole. You know that feeling? When you haven't done something that really gives you a certain feeling and some kind of content, but when you do it, its just unimaginable. It's like finally getting a word out after being locked for days, months, and to me, those three months felt like forever.


Sure, i had Twitter to back me up. I come across-and experience many weird, awkward, maybe emotional phases quite a lot, and, sure, Twitter does it. I can easily express myself in a few sentences and feel at least a bit relieved for getting something out. But it doesn'…

It's my birthday.

I just turned 16 today. Obligatory, I had to write about it. As i've said lots of times, 2016 has been so incredibly busy for me. I think, it's mostly filled with achievements. Oh, and, I just realised i had a draft third blogoversary post that still isn't completed, but lets just forget about it alright? You guys know what i've been up to, so i don't have to repeat them again. I'm 16 now. I created a bank account recently, found a job, have great friends, and i think i'm on my way to realising that a certain someone just isn't worth it anymore. I had much more to write just now, but i've kinda lost the mood a little. I think you'll understand. I'll publish this little thing and update it further on. You'll understand. Excuse the informality.